Ok. My life is pretty dull right now. It's fine though-I'm coming to terms with it. Slowly. But it makes for a pretty boring blog! So today I bring to you 2 delightful extracts from an old diary that I just found...
Freida: high maintenance friend-destroyed my social life
Child: that's my son, when he was 5 and cute]
1. ‘about the time I started making plans to drink less’, late 2001, age 22
Overwhelming urge to tear child away from father has become almost unbearable of late. I know research shows that a father/child relationship is nothing but beneficial to child but maybe their studies didn’t include fathers like the one belonging to my child. Worried about stability of the girlfriend but don't want to get involved for fear of catching it. Have enough reservations about the father to keep my going anyway. Oh, was so not convinced about his fake limp yesterday but need to get home was greater than any desire to stalk.
short term goal: save money.
long term goal: buy beautiful house and make it ultra stylish.
must stop: letting child climb on furniture.
other goals: lose weight, keep job, lose Frieda.
must stop: obsessing about clothes (not relevant in life after Frieda), drinking heavily (although was happiest mum in the playground at school this morning due to effects of last night not yet worn off).
very proud of: customizing child’s t-shirt myself (although didn’t receive any appreciation), oh and the novel written my myself and child in bed.
not proud of: being horizontal on dance floor in M club, being in M club, confusing theoretically with philosophically
2. 'about the time I started thinking about the type of men in my life', late 2001, age 22
Bridget Jones film, instead of being inspirational, simply confirmed my inability to fancy the good guy and reminded me of joys of comfort eating. No progress in mission to lose Frieda from my life, despite daily renewal of strategy. Child’s father also still sadly exists.
Only 2/3 blokes I can ever see my self fancying:
1. f***** up still pubescent 17 yr old
2. biggest b******/slapper with no morals, standards or respect.
3. (maybe)insignificant ex who is also mental
so generally not looking too good
I will type out a few more extracts over the next few days. If nothing else, it helps me to appreciate my current boring life a bit more! I have a diary in the attic somewhere from the year up to when I got pregnant, but I'm saving that for when the book publishers come knocking on my door offering to pay me millions for it!