Thursday, 14 January 2010

3. 'about the time I started having a crush on Richard Madeley'

3: ‘about the time I started having a crush on Richard Madeley’ late 2001, age 22

goal 1: lose weight
goal 2: learn to be attracted to good guys (still lusting after b******s and those with unstable mental dispositions)
short term goal: earn extra money
long term goal: find good job
achievements: living on practically no money
disappointments: conning mother into paying for child’s dinner money

proud of: losing weight at beginning of week
not proud of: putting it all back on again

must stop: letting food control me

desperately want: child to behave

short term solution: buy child new clothes so at least will look cute

long term solution: take swimming more often and buy poetry books

not proud of: dreaming about Richard Madeley
solution: s**
must stop: dreaming of owning stylish 3 bed house with large garden when will be unemployed and skint by next year.

must start: accepting reality

must stop: planning the house warming party

must start: accepting parties are pretty s*** in dingy 1 bed flats.
must stop: following fashion - not practical. (No longer feel need to party all night thanks to pressure on social life known as Frieda. Staying in will be the new going out when have own house. Must plan staying in wardrobe-I’m thinking casual but sexy)
disappointment: that 'dazzlepaint' comes off in the wash

budgeting: 8/10 v. good
creativity: 2/10 child preferred to watch video given by father than join in fun of sticking despite the fact sticking involved time consuming preparation of selecting appropriate stimuli as seen in the G (middle class family) household.
diet: 2/10 good start bad end.

When have own house fridge will only have healthy food and will have 'creative cupboard' in the toy room.

It's funny reading old diaries, particularly this one. I had completely forgotten about being desperate for my own house and stable job etc and now I have these things all I can do is moan about how fun my life used to be! Am slowly coming to realisation that I need to appreciate what I have a bit more. Looking back, my twenties were fun, but I did also spend a lot of it trying to get to my thirties.....

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